Thank you for participating, by which we mean we would appreciate it if you would stop participating. There are things that the Miami Dolphins do, that I think the fan base, in general, would be happy to see stop; so in the spirit of the time honored tradition of end of camp awards here are some thank you for playing trophies. Let’s face it some of these are going to blow up in my face and I will be thrilled to be proven wrong, but sometimes it feels good to say stuff out loud.
I am going to start with an easy one that I think we can all rally behind. Please stop the Joe Philbin is more human story lines that are related to bed checks. Here is a certificate and recognition for trying, but this is super creepy and in no way projects the image of a strong leader. Not to mention that no one wants to hear any more about the changes Coach Philbin is making in his personality. We just want to see the results.
Thank you for playing, swap every offensive line position and the depth chart every day for the whole camp, training philosophy. Here is your thank you for coming to camp trophy and now please go about your summer as the Dolphins set a chart and build cohesion around the starters. It’s not you, you got a shiny trophy, it’s just that after three years of terrible results we want to see how this other thing works. Maybe next year you can come back for the early part of just training camp, thanks again.
We would also really like to honor the owner’s annual flub in front of the media. This year was not really even that terrible and for the most part I think you came across as pretty in tune for a change Mr. Ross, but maybe next year you can get the actual win if you can forget the flub. Until then thank you for participating, here’s a trophy and a certificate, look it has a stamp in the shape of the sun, how cool is that?
Is Caleb Sturgis here? Caleb? No…well that’s understandable I suppose. In any case the Miami Dolphins can really stand to leave behind the uncertainty of the kicking game. So I would like to give the second to last participation trophy to the field goal unit and advocate that the Dolphins go for 2 every time they score a touchdown and on 4th down when on the opponents’ side of the 50 in 99% of cases. This has nothing to do with me really liking Ryan Tannehill in fantasy this season, I swear.
The last thank you for participating trophy of the evening I would like to present to pessimistic, low expectation fans. Those who claim to be too used to disappointment to really get their hopes up, the fans who insist that it can’t happen, that greatness is dead for Miami Football. Here it is, finally, your bright shiny trophy. Take it and go home. Except unlike the rest of those award recipients, you don’t have to wait until next year to come back. You can do it now, today.
Training camp is over. The Dolphins will shift to a more normal practice schedule and the games will come every week. Now is when the wagon is loaded, because we are all bandwagon fans, some of us never get off and others bounce on and off at every speed bump, but we all ride the same wagon. Maybe this is the year, maybe it’s not, but as a fan don’t you want to be in it from the beginning, so it’s just that much more special at the end? I know I do. Thank you for participating.
This column was written by Ryan Winters. Follow him on Twitter: @WintersNFL
The opinions expressed in this column are those of the writer, and do not necessarily represent those of the other writers of the website.
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